I know almost for a fact that in my lifetime, I will see gay
marriage accepted and allowed within our government. What I have a hard time
seeing in my lifetime is the Catholic Church accepting it. And I’m pretty sure
I’m ok with it.
WARNING:
My stance on gay marriage is one that I still am trying to figure out. As a
gay Catholic, there are a lot of things to consider and a lot that I still need
to assess first. This is not an official statement on what side I fall on or
what side I take, but rather a rant on what I believe for both sides of the
equation. If you are looking for a definitive answer from me, if you are just
going to judge me for not standing up for gay rights as a gay man, or you are
going to criticize why I as a Catholic am not standing up for my religion as fiercely
as others, then please leave now and let’s leave it at that.
Regardless of where you fall on the line, there should be
compassion and humility in what you believe and not having to put anyone’s
opinions down just for the sake of getting your point across, FOR BOTH SIDES!
I have a symbol on my Facebook picture today that is red
with an equal sign. While most would say that this is my direct support for gay
marriage, I think of it more as my support for this open discussion, that we
live in a time when something that used to be so hush-hush is so main stream. I
mean no harm in my picture; it’s just a simple sign of support.
Seeing a symbol of a shoe with this equal sign on it,
stomping on top of a church I feel is a bit harsh and a bit dramatic, and quite
frankly very hurtful to me. I have been Catholic since I was a baby, but God
knew I was gay before that. All of my life, my sexuality has been a struggle
coming to terms with on a lot of different levels. And while there are things
within the Catholic Church that I don’t necessarily agree with wholeheartedly,
I have never once have called out the church or ridiculed it in any way as
though I were taking my beliefs and crushing them down on the church.
We can go on and on about the reasoning behind our opinions.
Whether I pull out the “Jesus told us to love one another” card and others pull
out the “Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve” card, either way people are
going to be upset and there are certainly justifiable pieces of support for either
stance.
I in no way am anywhere near the thought of wanting to get
married. I still have to deal with flakes and assholes when it comes to dating,
so getting married isn’t something I really see in my near future to be honest. When and
only
if that time comes when I meet someone I love and make a promise to
spend the rest of our lives together, of course I would like to have that
option of marriage. Unfortunately though, I’m a bit confused about my own
stance on this since realistically I know this probably will never happen
within the church. So as of now, I in no way have any intention to enforce my
views on the church. I respect the church, I’ve grown up in the church, I am
heavily involved in the church, but I still have a general respect for what
anyone believes, AS LONG AS they are mature and respectful about how they
present their ideals and morals.
Some of my best and closest friends are strong, faithful
Catholics. Never once have I ever been shunned from the group, forced to give
up my friends simply because of my sexuality. And whether it’s because we just
have never had a full-on open discussion about our beliefs when it comes to gay
marriage or whether our friendship defies these kinds of stances, I’m ok with
that. Nothing ever changed with my friends when I came out, nothing was
supposed to change. Again it was just one more thing that was a part of who I
was, but it is not what defines me (I have said this so many times before, y’all
should know that much about me by now!) I love my friends and respect the fact not all of us agree on the same thing. My friendships are based on so much more than just beliefs. While some people may say that this is supposed to be a whole basis for what a friendship is, I think it works just fine without that as a focal point.
With the ranting aside, let me just say again that I don’t
have a definitive answer about what side I take on this subject. I am gay, I am
attracted to men, I am Catholic, I believe in God. No one can tell me that my
faith is wrong, no can tell me that being gay is wrong and that I’m going to
hell. I mean, feel free to try, but I’m way past the point of letting those
insults get to me.
At the end of the day, I have my own personal
relationship with God and my faith. No one is going to take that away.
