A Fruity Man Discussing "Being Fruitful"

God loves me, despite the fact that I happen to be attracted to other men.

I don’t mean to start a religious debate, but my faith in God and my personal spiritual journey cannot be taken from anyone.

Both sides have their own arguments, and both can go on for days, but allow me to re-introduce you to MY true belief(s) as being a gay man of God:

As true Christians, we are called to love one another. We’re all made in His image and we’re all made differently from the next. We’re not all the same. We should all be mature enough to put our differences aside and respect each other no matter what.

Fruitfulness? As some would say, the true gift from God is when a man and woman are joined together through the sacrament of marriage to create life and bring together the “true meaning” of family. I agree with this absolutely. But why can’t others say the same things about same-sex marriages?

For one thing, most gay people find it frustrating to be continuously shut out from the sacrament of marriage. In this day and age, to me it feels like there are more straight couples ending in divorce, having children out of wedlock, and not living out the “fruitful” sacrament that is marriage. But then you see gay couples, whole-heartedly committing themselves to their partner because legally they’re not allowed to call them husband and husband or wife and wife. In my personal experience with the influences I’ve grown up with, I’ve witnessed more committed gay couples lasting longer than heterosexual marriages taking place inside the church.

It’s all part of God’s plan. He has one ready to go for each and every one of us. Our paths and journeys are going to be different, absolutely! God may call the most Catholic-living couple to a healthy marriage but not grant them the gift of a child because that happens to be their journey. God may call together two men ready to commit their lives and raise a family because that happens to be their journey. God may bring a couple to marriage despite the fact that the wife is a devoted-Catholic and the husband only goes on Easter and Christmas, yet they still create a strong-loving family because it’s their journey. Not everyone’s is the same, but everyone does have a plan from God.

True, it takes a man and a woman to successfully create a child, but what happens when RAISING the child? Bringing life into the world is one thing, but raising it, taking care of it, nurturing it, loving it, supporting it, that’s a whole separate thing. And what comes from the influence of the parents? Does it matter if they’re gay or straight? As long as it’s a loving, nurturing, compassionate couple wanting to bring life into this world and raise it into becoming a loving, nurturing, and compassionate person, that’s fine by me, gay OR straight. And in some cases, it may just be ONE parent raising kids on their own, but that’s still THEIR journey and THEIR calling from God.

I’m not settling on the idea that marriage between a man and woman is destined to fail in this day and age because that’s not 100% true. I know of many couples and close friends taking that step and me knowing personally that they are starting a life together as committed and devoted as they should be. And the same can be said in the opposite way about gay couples. There are those couples who may not last and may not be living “fruitful” lives. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this argument can both ways and I see that.

But it hurts to know in my heart that being gay, living this life that I was blessed with WAS indeed a blessing from God, but not everyone acknowledges that. It may have been hard at times; it may have almost ended sooner than it should have, but God willing I’m here today with a strong belief that I’m living my life day to day as I should be. How sad it is to think that I may finally find a man that I want to spend my life with, but I can’t be married inside the church. How sad it is that I was raised to not be promiscuous, but rather respectful, courteous, and a gentleman above all else, but all people can assume at times when they hear I’m gay is someone who sleeps around and parties every night. I’m not saying I’m an angel, but what I am saying is that I have my morals and standards just like everyone else.

The point of this wasn’t to alienate close friends of mine in the church or those who may not agree with what I just said. The point of this was to offer a different perspective, to give a little more insight into a gay Catholic’s spiritual belief, which again is something that no one can take away from me no matter what. And I hope and pray that this doesn’t turn friends away because of my beliefs. We’ve obviously gotten along this far without it blowing up in our faces, right? There must be a reason for that.

I respect all people of all backgrounds, ethnicities, religions, race, gender, orientation, etc. who are compassionate human beings in this world who only strive to love others and respect each other for their differences, good or even bad.

Until next time…HOLLA!